Vos is the village that's just within earshot of Tel Vos, the 'castle'. It's pretty tiny, for a town, and all of them live in the shafow of the youngest wizard-lord Master Aryon.
Just for some extra ideas of what people might mention in talking about Aryon (you don't have to incorporate all/any of these). Aryon is described as the most open-minded of the Telvanni wizards, and used to be Divayth Fyr's apprentice. He has a Dwemer museum on the ground floor.
In my latest "Tel Vos Misc Street People" attempt did I hit the right NPCs? I'm still a bit confused as to who belongs to each of those three spreadsheet cells I mentioned above.
I'll add something about the Dwemer museum; that's cool :)
That's fine, but I suppose this area would technically be Vos, not Tel Vos. Tel is Tower in Dunmeri, so this is just the wizard tower. Outside along the walkways of that tower are the Telvanni Sharpshooter and whoever else. Vos is the village in the shadow of Tel Vos. In the streets are those people you've written lines for (and they still look great).
The only folks in Vos that would have conversations with others in Vos (other than the ones wandering the streets as you've already covered) are the two in the chapel and the three in the tradehouse. Probably safe to say the person in the entranceway might run into the people in the actual tradehouse proper from time to time.
Ah, okay. So do I need to separate out the lines I wrote for the sharpshooter and the other Tel Vos outside-guy into a separate file?
I'll start a "Vos" file for the chapel and tradehouse, and I can move the Vos street people into that same file and move the Sharpshooter & friend into the "Tel Vos Misc. Street" file if it makes your record keeping easier to have the documents match the spreadsheet cells a little better.
To further confuse you, here is my first pass at Tel Branora Upper Tower.
Edit to add: And Lower tower, since apparently there are only three people there?
Edit yet again to add the Tel Branora Miscellaneous file, for the convenience of having them all in one post. I am having far too much fun with these. I wrote the dialogues with the assumption that Skywind NPCs will be less stationary than they were in the original game (street people going into stores, Trerayna's group of protestors mingling with the other citizens rather than standing crowded around her), but I can change the lines if this isn't the case. I can also do more, if you feel some people don't have enough to say or interact with enough other people.
@ Denevir: Thanks for those explanations for Dunmer honorifics: UESP was rather contradictory on the subject. The soul thing came from the fact that building Tel Uvirith requires souls. Now that I think of it, it might not be common knowledge, though. Both inns updated below!
Now I have corrected how the player is referred to by NPCs.
Here are the Vivec Foreign Quarter Waistworks.
And here is an attempt at Vos. Following the same assumption of NPCs who actually leave their houses once in a while.
I have finally finished the translation into Dunmeri for the Balmora Council Club. Granted, it is not as eloquent in English translation and sounds somewhat Dothraki at times, but hey, the language is somewhat limited :P
Thanks Smitehammer for the assistance :)
I have been gone for some time, I apologize, but the good news is that I now have time to write and have immediately started on the Morag Tong HQ. I will post my work when it is done or in a rough draft state. also, on a similar note, I think the Morag Tong should have a motto of sorts, one that could be said by all members. I am going through several ideas, but suggestions are welcome. Thanks
Here is the Governor's Hall in Caldera.
Here, have an Ald'ruhn Council Hall. Same deal as before; I'm assuming that any NPCs appearing in that cell will have the opportunity to cross paths. I've given more solo lines to people who give a lot of quests, as I assume people will be wandering into their vicinity more often and there will be less chance of repetition.
Aurabelle has given me leave to proceed with Tel Aruhn, so that's my next target.
Phew. This is the first part of Wolverine Hall: the fort itself. I could add some lines for guards, if needed.
The latter part would be Dirty Muriel's. That'll be ready once I come up with personalities for every quest-unimportant Thieves Guild member there.
Have some Tel Aruhn. With a few caveats.
1) Once again, I've put some lines between NPCs who have no way of interacting in the original game, but who are in the same "cell" and so I'm assuming can speak to each other in this version.
2) My brain is completely fried; I am half asleep.
3) I can't remember the third thing.
4) Oh yeah, I didn't do Underground (claimed by Aurabelle) or the slaves/slave trader in the Misc. section (because that should have some continuity with Underground and Aurabelle's working on that too). We might work together on it later but for now I'm going to move on to Sadrith Mora. Tomorrow though (See # 2).
Edit: reuploaded Tel Aruhn Upper to correct a small mistake (See #2 again)
Hey guys, just letting you know I'm still alive. I've been pretty busy with outside stuff these past couple days, and haven't had time to review your work yet. Don't worry, I'll get to it! For now, though, feel free to mingle amongst yourselves - some peer review never hurts! :D
Here is Tel Fyr. Since the main quest sends players here a few times, I included a substantial number of conversations, which will hopefully keep things fresh.
Here is Tel Fyr. Since the main quest sends players here a few times, I included a substantial number of conversations, which will hopefully keep things fresh.
You might want to include some references to Aryon as well, as until fairly recently he was Divayth's apprentice.
Love the Tel Fyr stuff. Very colorful. I had to look pretty hard to find anything to tweak. One typo, you typed "Do you thing" he has a favorite instead of "Do you think," which is funny because I had to correct the exact same typo in one of mine.
The only other thing I found is probably a regional issue, and I only bring it up to call attention to it, not correct it, since I'm not sure what dialect we're trying to use in these lines. In the U.S. we'd say "I hope Father is doing well" rather than "going well." To my ear, "I hope Father is going well" sounds kind of Australian! (Though I'm sure that's not the only place that uses that phrasing.)
Here's my writing for the Caldera Guild of Mages. Please tell me what you think! :D
Funnily, "going well" is merely weird typo. No attempts to sound Australian here.
I completely forgot that Aryon had a relationship to Divayth. I'll add some allusions to that.
@sputnik - I like those, especially the solo lines. Solo lines are really hard to get right and yours sound just like things people might say aloud to themselves. The "sleep while standing" one made me laugh in particular.
My main suggestion would be not to use the word "quest" because it breaks the fourth wall a bit, like an out-of-character hint to the player. I'd have them call it a "job" or a "task" or something like that instead.
Have some Tel Naga! The usual blather and excuses apply.
Edit to add Morag Tong. I can always write more if requested, but I dont' want to overwrite on the first draft like I did the Mages' Guild ;)
*cracks knuckles and looks threateningly at Vivec*
Minor modifications based on Denevir's comments, tell me if you have anything more to say on my work
Here is Vivec FQ plaza and misc. I can feel my brain starting to fry, so this is my last contribution for a bit, other than to do any edits suggested between now and the end of tomorrow (Saturday).
I'm leaving at the crack of dawn Sunday to go to a writers' workshop and will not be back until the evening of the 16th. I think you were hoping to have all the idle banter done by then, but if not, I'm happy to jump back in.
Hi guys I took Morvayn Manor, but I am a bit stuck. Who should I write for, I mean know you go there to get the statue and clear the ash creatures, but is there anyone actually there, does Brara return there.
I think you could probably give Jim and Crazy-Legs some dialog without any problems. Sure, they're hiding out, but its seems strange that they would never talk to each other even in that situation, especially considering Jim runs the Thieves Guild. Simine would also have his shop closed and locked at some point, and he would probably be involved in bringing them meals or messages, so there are potential conversations there, too.
Wow, the punishment of missing a couple days. I'm having a real difficult time catching up! Just due to the sheer amount of work you guys are putting out, this review will just apply to the work you've done leading up to my previous comment; I'll get to the rest tomorrow. This is just too much to do in one sitting. I'd say that's a good thing, though!
Blowingsand, that's a nice start! We're definitely going to need much more dialog for this cell, though, to provide ample variety. I hope you can contribute more!
Dragon015, I really like what you've done with Sarethi Manor, and I'd be happy to pass it through this round of inspection. It always makes me proud to see visible improvement in my writers, and already I feel like you have a much stronger grasp on exactly what we're looking for in dialog. Also, whoops! Morvayn Manor definitely shouldn't be on the signup sheet. That's a slip-up on my part. You're welcome to start work on another cell, though!
Aurabelle, that Dunmeri is looking great! I'm working in that field as well right now, and I fully understand how tedious it can be. Glad to see you were able to power through it, though!
Willowisp, I absolutely love your Wolverine Hall lines! I'll be honest, I didn't take the size of that grouping into account when I put it on the list. I'm glad you were willing to tackle such a big project, though! Generally, your wording and syntax are exceptional as usual, but there are a few minor fixes that this could use. Sondryn's line about Azura's shrine: "...if you can see that Azura's shrine..." You might want to change that to "Shrine to/of Azura," or just take out "that" entirely, to make the sentence flow smoother. Sondryn's line with Hrundi includes "I can't figure out why'd he ask us." In the context of that sentence, "why he'd ask us" makes more sense. Those are the only things that really grabbed my attention, and those are just nit-picking. Overall, phenomenal work! I can't wait to see more from you!
Twentyenginerunner, I'm quite pleased to see all the writing you've gotten done. It's all very high quality, as I've come to expect from you. The foreign waistworks are gold, especially Marcel's lines. The only thing I would change is the ending of one of the conversations between Marcel and Seryn, where Marcel is about to recite the "Horror of Castle Xyr" to Seryn. It doesn't really make sense to me the way the conversation ends right now, because it anticipates that Marcel will start reciting lines, but of course he never does. I would recommend one of two courses of action: Either change Seryn's lines so that he cuts Marcel off and actually ends the conversation, or (and I think I'd find this option even more amusing) actually have Marcel start reading out Clavedis' lines to completion, with the idea that the player can listen in until they can't stand it any more. It's up to you how you want to do it, really. Oh, and also, I believe serjo would be the correct term to use, as sera tends to be more feminine as I recall. The Governor's Hall is great! I really like what you've done with Olumba's dialect! There's nothing there that really strikes me as out of place, so you get my approval on that!
Mishell, I really appreciate how quickly you've taken to this project and how dedicated you already are to its completion. You are easily the fastest writer here, and I can tell you do this kind of stuff professionally. There are little to no typos, and your work flows smoothly. I only have one major piece of advice: be wary of solo lines that address the player. Remember, these are idle lines, which means that they will be spoken regardless of where the player is in relation to the NPC. The player could be on the other side of the room and still faintly hear that NPC muttering. This means that there is a high chance of the NPC giving a line that was meant for the player when the player is nowhere near, which can be a little awkward. Just something to think about, if you want to tweak any of your lines based off that.
Yours Truly, no worries. I'm sure your finished product will be great!
Alright, everyone, that's my two cents for the day. I'll be back for the rest of your submissions tomorrow. Great work, everyone, the lines are getting better with every cell! Soon, I'm not going to be able to critique you guys at all!
@Justafan - Since I won't be back from this writers' workshop til the 17th (after your stated deadline), you are welcome to remove or edit any lines that don't work for the context they'll be in. I'm accustomed to collaborative environments and aware of my inexperience on this project. My words are not sacred gospel; do whatever you need to do with them to meet your deadline. :)
If you're still working on this stuff when I get back I'll jump right in.
I started working on Venim Manor. Tell me if I got the right idea about these guys. Also when the deadline comes what will become of all the unfinished work?
RatInThePot Moved to my overhauled dialog post
@overki11, I like the ideas you've put forward here! However, there are a few issues.
Because this will go to the voice-acting department when we are finished with it, it is necessary that each person speaking in the cell is named. To save one going back into Morrowind to do the research yourself, most of us use UESP (that said, sometimes I find it's necessary to go for a visit, to see where each NPC is in relation to the others). Here's the link to the Rat in the Pot page: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:The_Rat_In_The_Pot. You should be able to find out from there who all the NPCs are who frequent the cell, and a bit about them and the area.
I think we try to aim to give each person one or two solo lines/mutterings and add a few conversations in there. Not everyone has to have a conversation :)
Hopefully this helps you a little! I do love the stuff you have at the moment, and I can't wait to see the next draft! :D
Here is the Library of Vivec. I've also added an additional conversation to Tel Fyr.
My only suggestion for your current lines would be to give the Orc a little more flavor. In the "writers needed" thread I believe there were a few posts about Orc speech in Morrowind, or you could look at someone else's Orc dialog to get the feel. Otherwise, just keep adding more conversations.
Edit: I just saw your current draft. We're not really focusing as much on dialog directed at the player in this project, but on little snippets of information that you might overhear while playing that gives depth to the characters and the world. From what I understand, we might have need of lines spoken to the player in the future, so don't just trash them. However, with maybe a few exceptions, the NPCs should be more concerned with themselves or each other when it comes to idle banter.
Balmora Mages Guild Moved to my overhauled dialog post
People have been really productive this week! :)
Okay, the Wolverine Hall is about done. I fixed the first part according to Justafan's comments and added all the lines for Dirty Muriel's place. Criticisms are welcome once again. :)
The exteriors aren't done yet, but that'll be really minor. There are two NPC:s in the exterior cell, one of which is an orc who bizarrely enough also exists in Gnisis: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:Dumbuk_gro-Bolak Morrowind Patch Project removed him from WH, but should I include him?
In the meantime, I'll be doing the Ald'ruhn Guild of Mages, should be fun.
Oh yeah! I remember that guy. I was talking with Langotriel about him. I think we'll make him and the other guy twins. Name this one Bumduk gro-Bolak, and have most ofeach of their idle banter lines relate to their brother. Maybe have one of them recount how stupid and obnoxious his brother is, and the other one recount how smart and swell of a guy his brother is.
Southwall Cornerclub Moved to my overhauled dialog post
Draft for Tel Aruhn's Underground, where the slaves for sale are kept under guard. Critiques welcome! :)
@twentyenginerunner, that work is looking great! The only issue I have is that in Tel Fyr, the girls are his daughters, not his wives. But that's minor. Keep up the amazing writing dude! :)
@Willowisp, impressive stuff! The only thing I was iffy on was the use of the circus as a reference, because I wasn't sure if that could be immersion-breaking for some. BUt no-one else seems to have noticed, so it should be all good :). Looking forward to more from you!
@overki11, you're knocking this stuff out super fast, wow! Keep it up! :) Just one thing to note: the greeting lines are not necessary. I think most of that stuff is done already...but I respect the time and effort you've put into what you've done on them :)
I think that's all from me for now! Happy writing everyone :)
Sputnick, I really like your newest lines! I'm quite pleased with how much your writing skills have developed since you joined the project. I would recommend that you follow Mishell's advice, but beyond that, I'm quite impressed!
Mishell, I realize that you are probably already gone, but in case you read this at some point, I thought I'd let you know that your submissions are quite good! I'm happy to keep them as they are, with perhaps one revision for your Tel Naga dialog between Neloth and Endar. It hints at the coming catastrophe of Red Mountain, but it just seems a little heavy-handed and out-of-place. I mean, this is the kind of thing that would make for a full, elaborate discussion of the nature of the catastrophe and EXACTLY what needs to be done leading up to it. But instead, all Endar says is "there will be problems" and all Neloth says is "make preparations." And somehow, the two understand the implications of the other perfectly, which just seems a little weird. I would recommend either changing the course of the conversation or cutting it out if there's no way to make it work. Other than that though, great writing as always! I hope you have a fun time at your workshop!
Ruckus, those lines are looking great! You're more than welcome to move onto another cell if you so desire!
Dragon015, I like the lines you written for Venim Manor. Just remember that we don't want to have player-directed greetings AT ALL in our lines, as they have very different requirements coding-wise. It's a lot easier for us to keep them separate. I would ask that you remove your greeting lines (don't delete them, as they will be very useful to have later), and resubmit the document. Apart from that, I'm quite happy with what you have!
Twentyenginerunner, the lines you have are looking great! I really like the personalities you've given to all the Fyrs, which we're just too bland in the original for my liking. Apart from minor suggestions of the others which it looks like you've already acted on, I'm quite satisfied with those submissions!
Overki11, I'm impressed by your commitment with dishing these out! However, I would have a few recommendations for you, and I would ask that you go over your previous work with these recommendations in mind. First, it seems that you base a lot of interactions between NPCs off of their race and occupation. For instance, a good majority of the lines in your Mages Guild seem to revolve around Galbedir being good with enchanting and Ajira being a Khajiit. But at the moment, this makes a lot of the characters you are writing for seem rather flat and one-dimensional, because they're all existing as stereotypes, to some extent. One of the best ways to fix this is to look at the kinds of quests various NPCs are involved in, and make conversations revolving around those, or to look at the class of the NPC (for example: barbarian, nightblade, crusader), which can tell you a lot about their general personality or how they would react to various situations. Another major recommendation I would make is that you look a little more into dialect. Khajiits tend to refer to themselves in third person or by their own race ("Ajira thanks you" or "Khajiit thanks you"). Argonians refer to themselves as "this one," the person they are talking to as "it," and third parties as "that one" or "those ones" ("This one thinks that it is a better friend than that one"). And a Khajiit would NEVER, EVER, EVER call a dunmer "N'wah," for a variety of reasons. First, "n'wah" is dunmeri, meaning that only dunmer speak it. Second, that word is generally associated with calling someone an outlander, and in this case, Marayn Dren is the native, and Ajira is the outlander. So having Ajira use this insult makes no sense whatsoever. Oh, and one last thing. For the love of God, PLEASE submit your writing as a word or excel file, not text. The way I review these is by opening them one at a time and commenting on them, and the number of times I've lost my progress by clicking your work and being directed to a new tab is infuriating. I mean, that's not really your fault, but it would be nice if you could change that. Your writing is strong, however, and I'd love to see some of your work updated with these changes. :)
Willowisp, I like the changes you've made! And those lines for Dirty Muriel's are perfect! Aside from a few grammatical typos which I won't bother to mention (we can deal with those in final review), everything there looks good to me!
Here is the Black Shalk Cornerclub in Vivec.
In the game, the Fyr girls tend to call themselves wives, while Divayth calls them daughters. They are really neither, of course, but since the conversation was between Beyte and Delte, I went with wives.
@twentyenginrunner, whoops, my bad! Sorry. Never noticed that before, so kudos to you for doing your research properly! :) Great work with the Corner Club stuff :)
Good evening all,
I am suffering from a terrible case of writer's block. I am still working on these ^_^. I'm uploading what I have managed to finish.
@Justafan - couple of copy edits and a few changes as requested.
The Garrison and Commission aren't quite finished and I haven't even started the Misc. Street one. I could really use some help on ideas to flesh these out a little. Thank you all!
I can understand having writer's block with the garrison and commission, since most of the characters are more like named guards than anything. However, this also means you have more freedom when it comes to personalities. My advice with the conversations would be to treat the characters kind of like soldiers stationed overseas. Since Ebonheart is the center of the Empire on Vvardenfell, it might be a good place to use topics that concern other provinces. Since all the characters here are members of the Legion, they would probably have a greater interest than most in discussing events throughout Tamriel. Most of the soldiers probably are not even from Morrowind, and might not really care about it much apart from performing their duties. If you decide some of the characters are not from Morrowind (I do not thing that this would be a problem lore-wise), you could use this to craft a simple background that will aid in developing a more complete personality. Combine this with standard talk about work around the garrison, and I think that you will get some nice variety. That's my suggestion at least.
By the way, has anyone noticed some weirdness with the spreadsheet recently? One of my claims mysteriously vanished, and I noticed that a few others were also gone. Normally I would think that this meant someone decided to back out, but since one of mine was deleted without notification, it might be a good idea for everyone to take a look.
I claimed Hlaalu Temple but have had the same trouble with the spreadsheet. Oh well, I'll post what I've written anyway.
As always, critic is very much welcome. I wasn't sure how the Tribunal Temples function and couldn't find anything like prayers. I do know that, more or less, dunmer are associated with ancestor worship but that's on decline. Hopefully what I wrote is lore friendly.
@krysalynne Hmm, that's tough to write. I'd probably write everyone complaining about various things - their jobs, family, bosses, weather, pay, the greediness of the politicians. Also, the streets and garrisons are ripe with gossip and rumors. Maybe some are true, most are probably exaggerations. Like what twentyenginerunner said, their dialog doesn't have to be contained to that city, or even Morrowind. What's going on in the rest of Tamriel? What's Uriel Septim VII doing? What's happening back at home? So on and so forth. What you've written so far is really good :)
For the legion, I'd image they'd talk about things other than the military. Here is a reference from Black Hawk Down:
Cliff Wolcott: Limo is a word, Durant. I don't want to hear about it.
Durant: It is not a word. It's an abbreviation of a word.
Cliff Wolcott: Limo is a word in common usage. That is the key phrase in scrabble, my friend, common usage.
Durant: No! If it's not in the dictionary, it doesn't count.
Cliff Wolcott: It doesn't have to be in the dictionary!
Durant: It does have to be in the dictionary! Listen, when we get back to base, it's coming off the board.
Cliff Wolcott: You touch my limo and I'll spank you, Night Stalker. You hear me?
Durant: Yeah. Promises.
I am finished with Caldera Guild of Mages unless there are any mistakes/changes that need to be made.
Okay, here is Wolverine Hall, now updated with outdoor banter (I like Smitehammer's idea for the gro-Bolaks) and hopefully better grammar.
Ald'ruhn's Mages Guild is here, too. The school was very interesting to write for. Some of those lines could be integrated into a proper classroom scene with lots of townsfolk attending, but I don't think that's what we're doing here now.
@Aurabelle: Now that I think about it, I don't know about any circus culture in Tamriel, funnily enough. In any case, it was meant to tell that Hrundi considers throwing weapons gimmicky. Love your lines for the Tel Aruhn slaves, BTW. :)
@twenty and maddog - thank you both. Sad thing is, I've been stationed overseas ... lol ... kinda sad that I can't think of stuff. I was trying to avoid too much complaining, but I like the feedback both of you gave. I'll use it to take another shot at what I've got going on. Again, many, many thanks!
Issues with the signup sheet? Well, that's troubling, because it's certainly not me. If someone is anonymously making changes to the document, they should feel very bad about themselves. If the problem persists, please don't hesitate to tell me about it, and if we have to, I can make the document private and only give my writers permission.
And if any of you guys find you've lost your signup spot, just go ahead and sign up again. No biggie, as these spots usually aren't going quick enough for someone to steal it.